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Me? I dig the chase, sure… but damn, it’s shallow sometimes. Profiles screaming “NSA” – no strings attached, bro – yet half these folks catch feels anyway! Hypocrisy kills me. Zen pause… I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Is this it?” Like, Malick’s trees whisperin’ secrets, but sex-dating’s just loud grunts. One more thing… ever try those fetish apps? Kinky af – folks into feet, ropes, whatever – surprised me big time!

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Then there's the big-ass park, Parc du Souffle. Holy smokes, the trees straighten you out like a jab to the face. I've seen couples kiss beneath its ancient oak, while I sit on a rickety bench thinking about life's fucked-up code. You gotta check out the hidden pond there too, it’s nearly as mysterious as my love life, and trust me, that's saying somethin'. And yo, the way the water flows, motherf***er, "I feel like I could just vanish into the skin of this river." Ain't that wild?

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